YOUTH| Kim Kardashian Kommencement

by: Daniel Simcock

On May 15th and 16th, UMass Dartmouth played host to the time honored tradition of the graduation ceremony. This year’s keynote speaker and recipient of the Chancellor’s medal for her service to the community was none other than Kim Kardashian West. Amongst Mrs. Kardashian West’s words were messages of empowerment, introspection, and following one’s dreams. Read below for the full transcript.

“No matter how long you’ve had a dream, it can still come true if you persevere.” For those of you wondering where these words of wisdom have come from, let me tell you. On April 12, 2012, I was out at a party with my friends getting really, really drunk and then I just came out and said it. And then I thought, “man, I should Tweet that before I forget it.” So I pulled out my phone and preached this message to the world.

This is why I want to congratulate the 2015 graduating class of the UMass Dartmouth. You had a dream. You wanted to be a star. You wanted to be a success. You wanted lots of happiness. And let’s face it, a lot of money wouldn’t hurt either. And over the past 20-something years of your life, you have persevered. You saved every penny your parents could give to you. You slept with some strange people and backstabbed some friends. All in the name of your dreams.

And at college, you persevered even more. You sacrificed four long years of your life at college. And what a sacrifice! For all you know, you could have been out with your other friends, moving out to Hollywood, getting famous, and having a good time. Instead, you decided to take a different road, and that’s okay. You had faith that college would be the place where you found ‘star’-iness. I think this is really brave of you. I know I wasn’t that brave when I was your age a few years ago. But that’s okay. Everything worked out good for me in the end.

I know what all of you must be asking yourselves right now: “Who is this woman speaking to me? Why is she so beautiful? What’s her inspiration? Who is she wearing?” Well, I’ll tell you. Like you, I am a person, an innovator, and a billionaire. I am a television personality, designer, model. I’m even a video game character now! I’m also a wifey and a mommy. I am the one and only Kim Kardashian West. The source of my inspiration -- I would have to say myself. I mean, there are not many people out there who know how to make billions just by taking up space. And for those dying to know, this chic low-neck jumpsuit is a piece of the Kardashian Klothing Kollection. Available at Sears if anyone is interested.

What I have come here to tell you today is that you are a star. And you guys might not have even known it but you have always been a star. You. Your teachers. Your parents. We have all been stars all along. We are all just a big universe with a kajillion stars! Some stars are born knowing they are stars and just have a natural shine. Others do not. And that’s okay. I know I didn’t when I started out. Eventually, we all have to find our inner star and let it shine through.

Like you, when I was younger I wanted nothing more than to be a star. I learned over time that you have to do what you are good at in order to be that star. You have to be the best you. For me, that meant putting myself out there. I had to meet a lot of people, go to a lot of clubs, and get interviewed a lot. There was a lot of work involved but I had to persevere like you all did. I had to wake up in the morning with a smile on my face, a dream in my heart, and a black guy in my bed. Eventually, I realized. This was me. This was the star I was meant to be. My dream had been in my bed the entire time. Sometimes your dreams can be right in front of you. All you have to do is get into bed and dare to dream.

So, what am I trying to say here? College is sort of like my bed. Except you have to pay to get into this bed. And eventually you might have to read a book or something. Anyway, what I am trying to say is that it is just one big learning experience. College, like my bed, is the place where dreams get made. It can get rough sometimes. Things are bound to get messy, but that’s okay. That’s why you keep the box of Kleenex on your bedside table, just in case.

Being in the limelight, I know just how cruel this world can really be. One minute, the lights are shining on you, accentuating that wonderful outfit you just purchased, the next minute it's on some scummy celebrity trash. If I could give a piece of advice to you: to succeed in this world, you need to know what you bring to the table and know how to market yourself. Sometimes this means stepping out of your comfort zone. The time may come where you have to socialize with a bunch of types of people, like cool people, hot people, and sometimes really ugly people. It’s hard but diversification is a must. You’ve got to keep your options open. Flexibility is key especially when you're told to switch positions.

But being students of UMass Dartmouth, you already have your legs open for the competition. You already understand that this is a f*** or be f***ed world so might as well be ready, either way. You are so ready to take on the world. And it’s all because of college. I wouldn’t know, but I hear that’s how it works.

I leave you today with this question. “Can you guys help me pick a filter? I don’t know if I should go with XX-Pro or Valencia. I wanna look tan. What should my caption be? I want it to clever!” I know! How about, “graduating with my bitches!” #Grad.