by Elizabeth O'Donnell
So summer is here and whether it be for Bikini Season, for fun, for stress relief, or something to keep your mind off the potential awkward family gatherings and questions: you may have gone to or thought of the gym.
And you should, the gym, for any reason, is a healthy way to spend your free time.
But for most there is a daunting and intimidating feeling of whether or not you even belong there.
If you’re like me, you probably can do the average to bare minimum of what the average athlete can do. Doesn’t matter if you exercise a few times a week or if you’re totally new, you don’t see yourself completing a full mile any time soon
Personally I feel that I should get an award for trying, or a cheeseburger, both are good.
My first few gym experiences were less than pleasant. I’ve used some machines backwards. I’ve forgotten my I.D. I have dropped my iPod repeatedly, accidently unplugging the ear phones, revealing to the gym that I listen “Let it go” for running inspiration and the “Imperial March” from the Star Wars Movies for walking inspiration.
However over the years I have gotten better at the workouts, but even better covering up my personal inability to lift more than thirty pound dumbbells or run long distance. I can actually categorize these into nine simple but effective tips.
When Learning, the Treadmill is your Friend.
The treadmill, when just walking, is doing so little and yet doing much, both at the same time. Quiet amusing actually. It doesn’t take much to set up it is easy to learn by one’s self, there are usually many in supply, and you can alter it to your walking speed.
What is also significant is that you can take the time to look around at the other machines from an observing distance, and see how people are using the other machines.
Have an idea of what machines or workouts you would prefer.
After you have figured how the machines work, then you can make a wish list of main objectives of what you want to do. Try to focus on what body parts you wish to work with, and what machines don’t look like they were designed by Escher or by Jigsaw. The machines should have instructions and information on the machine itself if you need further clarification.
But this ties in to looking like a natural, because when you have a list of machines you want, you can just walk from one machine to the other as if you have a routine down like someone who goes here on a daily basis.
Don’t Stop Moving. Don’t Wait for Machines.
Not only does stopping and waiting for a machine halt your workout, but wandering around can make you look lost and waiting at the machine for the user to stop makes you look like jerk.
Instead go to a random machine nearby that targets the same area. And if that first machine is the holy grail of workouts, you can work out on Machine #2, until the user has wiped up and left, and then just switch.
Wipe down everything you have used.
Just a general tip. It’s okay not to know what you are doing, but worse to look like an arrogant bum. Also remember to unload the weight rack as well. Just a heads up.
Wearing the right even “professional” supplies.
The biggest mistake has to be dressing unsuitably for the gym. It can actually damage your workout and even get yourself hurt. Leave the jewelry, the baggy sweats, the immovable tight clothes, the unsupportive sports bra, and the sunglasses at home.
And when wearing the right attire, one can take certain liberties.
For me personally wearing some of the things the “professionals” had made me feel more like I belonged there.
Though in reality it is just a tank top, $12 work out pants, my everyday converse shoes, and a glass water bottle. It was like I was saying, “Hey! Look at me! See this shirt! It’s a Work out Shirt! Yeah. Because I’m working out! Because I’m gym member: who works out so much. No biggie.”
Bring a Friend.
Not only can this motivate you, as well as hold you responsible to your scheduled workout plan, it can work as a support system. You may be gym peasants, but at least you are peasants together. At the very least they can at least make you look better, or worse, that particular motivation is a risky double edged sword.
Join a class.
So maybe the ground floor is a bit intimidating, or just not your style, or the machines are too confusing. The best step after that would be a class. Most gyms offer them. They usually consist of one teacher and maybe a few lines of other gym patrons. You will be doing exactly what the teacher says, so you don’t have to plan or coordinate anything for your workout, and you’ll be in a sea of other gym members trying to stick out.
Try yoga, is a workout where instructors firmly warn you not to push your body to harder limits; perfect for anyone.
Have an Emergency Exit Plan.
You may have overestimated what you can do, have a terrible case of the muscle cramps, accidentally joined a Total Body Workout Class filled with returning members, like yours truly, or accidentally went to a Zumba class for senior citizens, like yours truly: either way, you just want to go home. But you want to avoid the walk of shame that comes from leaving early.
Well here is a simple procedure to avoid this situation with your dignity:
1. Carry an iPod/ cell phone. If in a class and away from iPod/ cell phone, pretend to take a water break so you can return to your supplies.
2. Drink some water, and look at the time, or pretend to.
3. Mutter something at a medium level like “oh no,” or just react as if you just realized you are going to be late for something important. (Faking an emergency text would be harder; this is your safest bet.)
4. Grab your stuff, quickly wipe down the supplies, and get out of there. Keep looking at your phone and move quickly, as if you were actually going to be late for something.
5. Run, run like the wind, you are free. Be free and never look back.
And The Most Important Tip: Nobody Cares.
Yup. Nobody cares.
No one is looking at you. No one is watching your every move. Nobody cares.
Everyone is there for one underlining reason: to get healthier and get a workout. Everyone is focusing on their own workout. Everyone is sweating, gross, tired, and trying to stay motivated. The last thing they are worrying about is what a stranger across the gym is doing.
If you feel you can’t get the thought of others out of your head, just put your headphones on and distract yourself by getting in the zone.
Do what you can do, know your limits, and be safe. You paid to be there, you have a right to that gym no matter what level you are on.
Live your own 80’s workout montage.
Get your head in the game.
Squat till you drop.
And remember there is a cheeseburger (or a veggie burger) waiting for you at home.
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